One hell of a party: Revised
by Hammer of god
Summary: Like the title says. Roys hosting a party, AN INSANE PARTY! HAHAHAHA! Chapter four up. Finnaly.
1. Introduction into the world of madness

**One Hell Of A Party**

**Disclaimer: I don't own it so don't sue me…**

Edward had been sitting in a chair waiting for the colonel until Riza had come in.

"Edward the colonel will see you now" Riza said calmly.

"About fucking time…" Ed replied frowning, He'd been waiting for ever!

And with that Riza slapped him and then pulled out her gun and shot right above his head detaching one of his hairs.

"Holy Shit Riza! You could've killed me!" Ed yelled at the trigger happy Major

"Watch your language! Fullmetal you may be a solider but your still a kid!" Riza said getting all up in Eds face.

" maybe if the Colonel didn't take so godamned Fucking long! Maybe I'd be less cranky about it,Okay?

"Just leave Fullmetal... just leave."

"Fine! I will" Edward mumbled to no one in particular, maybe it was another one of those days?

After Ed finally reached Roy's office and struggled opening it because of the fact that hundreds of stacks of paperwork was pushing against the door. When Ed finally made it in the room he went wide eyed at the amount of paper work in such a tiny office

"Marco!" Ed said trying to find the colonel in all the mess of the office.

"Ed?" yelled the voice of the colonel.

"Your supposed to say polo Dumbass!" Ed replied to the Colonel

"Ed.. I'm not in the mood for your back sass, now where are you?" Roy questioned

"I don't know! There's so much paperwork!" Ed yelled.

" Follow the sound of my voice and try not to anger the paperwork gods!"

"Okay, ah! It's a paperwork monster! Eat staples you unholy piece of filing!" Ed screamed filling the monster full of lead, err well not really. More like cheap irony things.

"Don't waste my staples!" Roy yelled angrily

" Shut up! It was for protection from the unholy! Now hold on... this is like a pac-man maze" Ed said distantly.

"Whats that?" Roy inquired.

"No fucking clue!" Ed said getting nearer and nearer until... pop! Oh wait this is china. Sorry must've tooken a wrong turn in alblqurkie.

Three hours later

" I'm finally here..." Ed sighed sweat on his forehead

" Good, oh wait I forgot what I was going to ask you, Oh well. Dismissed" Roy replied.

:( "I'm going to fucking kill you..." Ed threatened.

" I said dismissed, Fullmetal." Roy said as he pulled a lever that took Fullmetal to the outside.

**The next day**

" The colonel called me again?!" Ed asked Riza angrily.

"Yes... he'll see you now"

Four hours later

" Okay.. I made it again. If you don't have anything, I'll seriously kill you" Ed said to the colonel.

" Yes, I'm hosting a Staff party tomorrow night, attendance is mandatory" Roy said calmly.

" Whatever..." Ed replied.

" Unless that's past your beddy bye time" Roy teased.

" Piss off..." Ed said getting the last word and rushing out of the office.

" This should be fun" Roy mused burning the rest of the paperwork.

R&R


	2. Return of The Living PaperWork!

One Hell Of A Party

Disclaimer: I don't own a thing

That same Day

" I Would like to make an announcement, I'm hosting a staff party for higher ups tomorrow night. The party starts at 7:00 PM and ends at 2:00 AM, coming is mandatory and please dress casual." Roy said over the intercom.

" Hey! He made me go to his office and go through the unholiness of his paperwork maze to learn about that party and he was just going to put it over the intercom!?" Ed screamed making many start to back away slowly. And then over the intercom Roy started to talk again, " Hey ed?".

" What do you want you asshole!" Ed yelled at the intercom angrily. " Marco" The intercom replied.

" What?" Ed asked confused, " your supposed to say Polo Dumbass!" Roy said laughing hysterically.

" Hey that's my joke!" Ed said getting steamed up, " Not since I copyrighted it" Roy taunted.

" So! I can still say it!" Ed said turning the other cheek, " Yeah but you owe me a quarter each time you say it." Roy finally said before turning off the intercom.

Later that night

" Now how will I rig this party..." Roy mumbled to himself at his humble abode.

" We have, Heavy alcohol, sedatives, laxatives, sleeping pills, shaving cream, markers, cameras, extra film, vasaline, tape and a lot of other things" Roy said checking his supplies. " Ed and a few other's like maybe... Fury and Breda are going down!" Roy said evilly.

At Ed and Al's dorm

" Ed, your paranoid" Al said to the sho- I mean Fullmetal alchemist.

" Look, he wouldn't invite us to a party unless he wanted to do something to us" Ed mumbled to the trash ca- I mean lovable tin man. And then, " We have come for you Edward Elric" Said a scratchy voice from who knows where, no not there! " Oh no, is that the... Yes it it!" Edward said his voice starting to get really high like... like... a six year old girl. " Brother, What's wrong?" Al asked oblivious to the voice from who knows where, no! Not there. " It's... the Paperwork demon!" Ed said his voice starting to crack, " Where's the stapler?" Ed asked Al. " We lent it to Riza, remember?" Al replied still pretty cheery. " Well, we're screwed then" As the beast crept closer.

Four Intense paper cutting hours without a stapler later

" I'll be back! I always come back!" The paperwork screamed in unholiness.

" Yeah, because the fuhrer doesn't want you as a law!" Ed yelled as he stamped a decline on the demonic paper.

" It's finally over... It's finally over" Ed mumbled.

" Oh not yet brother" Al said as he wielded a chainsaw and had a Jason mask on.

" Oh god no! My brother, why?!" Ed said getting on his knees.

" We still have to trim those hedges." Al said revving up the chainsaw.

" Oh, for a minute there I thought..." Ed started.

" But then it still won't be over" Al said pointing two handguns at Ed.

" Ahhh!" Ed yelled.

" We have to return these to Riza" Al chuckled.

" Oh, yeah I almost forgot about that." Ed said smiling at his trash ca- I mean brother.

" Ed.. The author keeps thinking I'm a trash can" Al sobbed.

" Author? What do think this is? Some sorta fanfic story?!" Ed shouted at his tra- Brother I mean.

The next day

" I just gotta have this new dress!" We hear Riza yell as she's at JC pennies, I mean a clothes shop that was back there back then and isn't copyrighted.

" What was that Riza?" Winry asked.

" Oh um... I'm going to buy this dress, I'll be back in a moment" Riza said getting back to normal.

And with Hughes...

" Hey guy who broke into our house, want to see some pictures of my darling Daughter?" Hughes asked me as he put up thousands of photos in my face.

And we are now leaving! To Armstrong's

" Hello there, you know we Armstrong's have been authors for generations and it all started 120 years ago when my great grandfather..."

Moving on! Well we'll just see how this turns out...

R&R


	3. Never Trust a Teddybear

**One Hell Of A Party**

_**Chapter Three: Never Trust a TeddyBear**_

Notes: I don't own anything. And this is more of a sub-chapter.

Ed woke up to the annoying bleeping sound of his radio, No really, It was bleeping. His Clock Radio was cussing him out. Another one of those days? Ed groaned and got up as the clock called him an asshole. " Aww, Shut the fuck up!" Ed yelled at the clock, and it started to laugh!

Ed growled and transmutated his arm into a multi barrel machine gun, he pointed it towards the clock. " One Competition to end them all." He said quoting some movie he had seen last night.

_Two Minutes Later_

Al saw his shri- Brother! Walk into the small Kitchen. Smiling. This Wasn't A good Sign.

" Ed, What was all the noise about?" Al asked while drinking a glass of orange juice.

Ed gave him a strange look as the orange juice leaked out the chest plate. " Um... Okay... Anyways, it was just my radio wake up call." He said as he put on his coat.

" Al what time is it?" He asked the trash- I mean younger brother.

" Two PM." He said casually.

" Damn!" Ed yelled running out.

Al shrugged and started on his toast.

Just Another one Of Those Days?

**At Colonel Basta- I mean Roy's house.**

" Mwahahahahahahahahaha!" Roy laughed manically as he stuffed toothpaste in a sock, why? Because I said so.

" Fullmetal shall pay! And then we will finally have our revenge! Won't we, Fluffykins, Mc'bear?" He yelled obviously insane while holding a ratty teddy bear, with a pair of, Gasp! Wesker Style Sunglasses!

The bear stared dully back at him, " Yes I know, Your plan is genius! It shall work!" Roy had now reached the insanity level of Michael Jackson. Time to go away now...

And now we see Riza, she's preparing food and drinks, and party favor's and all the stuff that girls should be doing. " Girls should be in the kitchen." I say into the kitchen. Oh well, I didn't need that leg.

Moving right along...

Later That night

" The Party shall begin in six minutes. Enjoy yourselves." Roy announced. _Until Seven that is, and then the fun starts... _He thought evilly to himself. " Mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha-_Cough_... _cough"_ Roy screeched out, seeing the strange looks he added. " Clearing out the old windpipe."

_**R&R**_


	4. And the party ends OR DOES IT?

One hell of a party

By Joshua Carlson

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

It was seven o' clock and the party was starting, everyone looked like they were having fun...and by having fun I mean they looked bored out of their skulls.

" Are we going to DO anything?" Someone asked.

" DO NOT QUESTION MY ATHOURITY!" Roy yelled setting the random dude ablaze, the smell of burning person filling the room.

Everyone backed away by the dude on fire and started to talk to each other just like you should at a fancy party. Except this wasn't a fancy party, considering the main dish was tuna surprise.

Tuna surprise...made out of Spam.

Spam, Made out of mildew.

Rented mildew.

Moving on, Edward was hiding in a cardboard box, 'cause he's a paranoid paint licker.

Al wasn't amused, he lifted the box.

" AL! Do you want the communist to get me?!" Ed yelled foaming at the mouth, he stuffed a grenade in Al's mouth and got back under the box.

Needless to say, Al exploded. In a good, happy, magical way.

Oh yeah. And the theme of the party was resident evil cosplay. Totally.

Except Ed didn't fit in, He was cosplaying as Solid snake, who isn't from Resident evil. What a shame.

Roy started to pace around, wondering why no one was complimenting his wonderfully corny Leon cosplay. " Thats it! No more cosplay!"

Everyone cried.

Roy changed out of his cosplay costume and brought out the punch. _Hehehe, no one will EVER suspect that I spiked the punch... _Roy thought to himself evilly.

Roy watched people go for the punch, no one was getting it. Depressed, Roy sighed. " I need a drink..." He mumbled pouring himself some punch.

Roy dropped after one glass. " Lightweight." Ed mumbled from under his box.

Well, to make a long story short... Roy's house got trashed, he got written on and no one really respected him.

" Come to me, child." Said a deep voice.

" Yes. Master" Roy replied, bowing down before a chair.

" You have failed me. You have one last chance, or else.."

" Yes, of course, Dark lord." Roy said.

" Edward SHALL come to the dark side...He will taste the sweet cookies, or he shall die."

A/N: OMG! CLIFFHANGER!

And thats where I end the story. Yep, no more chapters. However, I would be willing to write a sequal for some reviews maybe?


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